The Communication Circle: Tips: Delete fluff.

Tips	Delete fluff.
On Brevity Scan On!	Background: Usability was improved by a good deal in the objective language version (27% better). Our conjecture to explain this finding is that the promotional language imposes a cognitive burden on users who have to spend resources on filtering out the hyberbole to get at the facts. —Nielsen, 1997b. Original Paragraph from Morkes & Nielsen: Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446). 62 words. Paragraph revised for objectivity: Nebraska has several attractions. In 1996, some of the most-visited places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86, 598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446). 49 words. Inspiration: Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use. —Mark Twain If you’re out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. —Albert Einstein Challenge: Rewrite omitting subjective, exaggerated, or boastful language. Since its brilliant beginning at a top-rated international laboratory, the World Wide Web, or the graphical and interactive side of the vast and complicated network of networks, known as the Internet, has swept the computing world like a tidal wave. The Web attracts end users because it offers such intuitive technologies as searching, hypertext navigation, and instantaneous connection with information in almost every country in the world. As a developer, you need a programming environment in which you can make easy-to-use Web pages that attract millions of end users. 89 words See: Morkes & Nielsen (1997), Nielsen (1997b) (August 1, 1998) Other tips on brevity. Cut any paper-based text by 50%. (July 1, 1998) Make each paragraph short. (July 15, 1998) Move vital but tangential or supplemental material. (August 15, 1998) Convert repeating categories of information into tables. September 1, 1998) Beware of cutting so far that you make the text ambiguous. (September 15, 1998)

Bibliography	List of web sites, research articles, and textbooks used to develop the tips.


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